Friday, February 14, 2014

Married and Happy About It

A happy marriage does not make for very good entertainment, I think. It's the reason that "Downton Abbey" killed off a beloved main character, and it must be the reason that we don't have our own "Housewives" show by this point.

When I write about my happy marriage, it is true and sincere, but probably not very compelling, and quite possibly comes off as boasting. And maybe because the marriages that fill our celebrity news feed are dramatic and tumultuous, the happy marriages out there in the world aren't quite on our radar.

To everyone else, our marriage might seem a little boring. There's very little drama. There's not much in the way of exotic vacations or fancy anything. There's romance, but in the way of "thanks for taking hamburger out of the freezer so I could make tacos tonight" romance. We have our moments, but for the most part, we are happy.

This might only be interesting to read about if it is coming from a cute old couple who's been married for 70 years, or a couple who's come back from the brink and are stronger than ever, or a couple of high school sweethearts who reconnected after 40 years. But what about the everyday cases of happy? Sometimes I feel reluctant to share our happiness, maybe because it might seem too private, and maybe because I don't want anyone to think that we are arrogant in our gushiness.

Good marriages are not newsworthy. Perhaps they should be. "Couple Still in Love, Folds Laundry Together to Celebrate" is not going to sell any newspapers. Yet in that story of folding laundry is the revealing of a thousand little things. It's a sharing of life's mundane responsibilities, the acknowledgement of tensions related to jobs that never seem to get done, the financial strain of so many tiny dirty clothes, the precious 20 minutes spent together watching "Princess Diaries" while sorting two dozen socks without matches. It's ups and downs and boredom and romance, all in one giant pile of laundry.

Can we please talk more about happy marriages, in an honest, hopeful way? We shouldn't try to come off as perfect, but we should be unashamed and genuine in our discovery of a match that is more than we could have wished for. I love to hear people talk about their happiness. We do it at length about our kids and our pets and our jobs, so maybe we should up our game in praising our joyful wedded state.

If you see me posting one too many pictures of Chef Matt on social media, or hear me talk yet again about how awesome he is, don't think that I'm out to brag. Truly, I feel all lit up inside every day of my life, and he brings such peace and confidence into our world. It's bliss that I can barely contain. And if your bliss is powerful, too, as it emanates from love letters or walks on the beach or date-night laundry, then share. We could all use a little more happy.

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